[Fg-general] Re: My thoughts on today

[Dina Davidson]

First~

> Everyone out there who cares about Free Geek, SPEAK UP!

Thank you, rcy, for the prod. I will speak up, even though I feel
unqualified to do so in many ways. I am too busy in other areas of my
life to really contribute to the organization, other than to send my
friends and family to volunteer/donate/shop at the thrift store.

(In the interests of being up-front, I want to say that I consider
several FG staffers/ex-staffers to be good friends. Further, my
partner is a director. I often hesitate to offer my opinion about
sensitive issue, both because of my concern that what I say might be
misconstrued as speaking for someone other than myself, and because I
don't want to strain my personal relationships (which are way more
important to me than any organization, no matter how awesome it is :)

> I also felt that things were not heading in the direction of getting
> better. I also saw things happening that I didn't believe were true to
> the Free Geek principles.

I wonder: can we institute a catch-phrase, or some other way to stop
and check when this (deviation from FG principles) happens? It can be
difficult to stop someone and say, "this doesn't seem very free and
open to me," and yet that is what likely needs to happen. Is there a
way to put the brakes on a conversation without the speaker feeling
disrespected? Perhaps in the context of non-violent communication?

> I often didn't feel like I was working on a
> cohesive team. There was continual talk of quitting by this person or
> that person; continual talk and disagreement about the existence or
> function of the staff collective; bickering about what was controversial
> and what wasn't, and therefore allowed to be decided privately by a
> small group; arguing about what Portland does in the case of XYZ, and if
> that fact even matters to us or not; discussions among some staff about
> removing other staff members; what was policy, what wasn't; etc, etc,
> etc.

Bickering sucks. Literally, as in, it sucks the life out of those
involved at both ends of the conversation (and often everyone within
earshot).

It's also not sustainable to devote your entire life to a cause or
workplace for very long, and it ultimately does the organization
little good (or the person(s) who no longer has a life).

That doesn't sound like fun to me, either, and for what y'all get
paid, this work should IMO at the very least be rewarding and fun.

> I also feel that there is a serious imbalance of power and
> responsibility both within staff and across the organization. Everytime
> I hear someone talk about the 'higher ups' or about 'the bosses' or
> anything like that I'm reminded how badly we are failing here.

I have perceived this as well. My 14-year-old son, who is a volunteer,
also noted this, not realizing that FG isn't supposed to have any
"bosses".

I worked for several years at a local for-profit, consensus-run,
high-tech company. It was an awesome place to work. It was not a flat
organization, but people were tasked with areas of expertise rather
than in "chains of command", and "managers" were more of the
camp-counsellor variety than micromanagers.

I wonder if FG would benefit from a role where people felt they could
go to discuss things of concern, have problems mediated, and ask
questions about principles, consensus in practice, and so on: a role
(or part of a role) that isn't a *management* position, but is a
leader nonetheless--a champion of Free Geek principles, and an
advocate for all those in the collective community, both staff and
volunteers.

(FWIW I think that everyone at FG needs to assume leadership in this
area; it cannot ever fall to one or even a few people, but it may be
beneficial to have someone who actually has time to spend promoting
and preserving the FG culture.)

> I have a lot of regret about not speaking up earlier about what I now
> identify as some very fundamental problems. Instead, I tried to keep
> focussed on day to day work, keeping my eye on what we were there to do,
> which is to help people, and did my best to contribute what I could to
> that end. I spoke up when I had the opportunity and when I saw something
> obviously wrong happening, but definitly didn't do all I could to stop
> things from getting to the point that they are at now. I simply decided
> one day that I'd had enough, and gave my notice.

Thank you, Ryan, for the time and energy that you put in to FG, both
as an employee, and as a member. I am sorry that you got burnt out and
felt that giving your notice was the best option, but I also
understand. I also appreciate your willingness to be part of this
conversation now, to hopefully avoid similar burnout and staff
attrition in the future.

The lack of goodbye message means that many of us didn't find the
opportunity to thank you properly. Your quiet, calm demeanour, your
deep commitment to free-as-in-libre, and your technical skill were and
are evident.


kind regards,

d.

--
Dina Davidson

http://birthingway.ca